In all areas of my life, I am so incredibly focused and organized... until it comes to reading. I read handfuls of books at a time, and then half-way through them, head to the bookstore to buy more when I already have an impressive stack of unread books waiting for me at home.
Anyways, this is off the subject. I am re-reading this book of adventures because I somehow have lost my way on "confident and excited" street and am certainly finding myself here on "I'm so nervous and scared" boulevard. Its like I'm listening to a record that's stuck on repeat and an unable to get up to change the disc. I am relieved though, to tell you that my resolve still is stable and conviction unwavering. I'm just... well.. nervous, and scared. So... a here's a little "your about to experience the most amazing time of your entire life" CPR.
Here is a very long but funny page from "Eat, Pray, Love" that so completely makes me feel better. It's like Elizabeth Gilbert is saying, "I feel ya kid, its gonna be alright."
"Truthfully, I'm not the best traveler in the world.
I know this because I've traveled a lot and I've met people who are great at it. Real naturals. I've met travelers who are so physically sturdy they could drink a shoebox of water from a Calcutta gutter and never get sick. People who can pick up new languages where others of us might only pick up infectious diseases. ... People who are the right height and complexion that they kinda look halfway normal where ever they go- in Turkey they just might be Turks.. in Mexico they are suddenly Mexican...
I don't have these qualities. First off, I don't blend. Tall and blond and pink-complexioned, I am less a chameleon than a flamingo. Everywhere I go but Dusseldorf, I stand out garishly. ...
And, oh, the woes that traveling has inflicted on my digestive tract! ... I've experienced every extreme of digestive emergency. In Lebanon I became so explosively ill one night that i could only imagine I somehow contracted a middle eastern version of the Ebola virus. ...
Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt,... that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. ... I feel about travel the way a new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby- I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because its mine. It can barf all over me if it wants to-I just don't care.
Anyway, for a flamingo, I'm not completely helpless.. I can make friends with anybody. I once made friends with a war criminal in Serbia. .. If there isn't anyone else to talk to, I could probably make friends with a four-foot-tall pile of Sheetrock. This is why I'm not afraid to travel to the most remote places in the world, not if there are human beings there to meet. People asked me before I left for Italy, "Do you have friends in Rome?" and I would just shake my head no, thinking to myself, but I will"
Yes, Elizabeth Gilbert, I shall read your book to knock myself out of this self-imposed worry wart virus. Change your perspective and you change your world.
The really great thing is this; the universe is giving me nothing but a giant pat on the back. I am getting the most favorable, kind and excited words from all those I talk to. My hair dresser, my insurance agent, the guy who changed my oil... they all light up, grinning ear to ear, declaring, "WOW, you are going to have the most amazing time, meet so many people.. I'm so happy/jealous!!" I definitely can't complain that I don't have love and support from even the most distant of strangers. So thank you, world, for your comfort and reassurance!
Now, back to you, Elizabeth.
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